I took it fairly hard when my professor revealed that life is meaningless. Well, at least meaningless in theory. Her course first cut the weak ties I had to a Christian understanding of values from my youth and then laid out the difficulty of living in a godless world. What followed was somewhat of a philosophical tailspin. Newly realizing a hole at the center of my world understanding, I was eager to find a system that would help orient my life.

The reading that precipitated this search was an essay by Jean-Paul Sartre. In Existentialism is a Humanism, he defends his atheistic existentialism. The central tenet is that for mankind, existence precedes essence. To first take an inverse example, Sartre examines a paper knife - its essence, or design, exists in the mind of its creator before the knife comes into existence. This would be similar for mankind if our essence in the mind of God preceded our existence. But for an atheist assuming there is no God, there is at least one being whose existence precedes his essence. Humans first appear on the scene, and only afterwards, define ourselves.

If this seems overly theoretical, it is more practical in consideration of values. Sartre argues that without God, nothing is intrinsically right or wrong. A possible action has value only by being chosen; in every moment, in every action, I define what’s valuable for myself and for all mankind.

This ethical freedom initially made me feel unmoored, but the notion of acting to define value has helped guide me. A recent morning that I was to visit my brother and his wife, I woke up with a sore throat. I let my excitement overwhelm any thoughts of COVID, and I went forward with the visit, hoping my symptom would resolve quickly. However, my sore throat persisted into the next day, and I learned that I had previously been exposed. Sitting with my family, I was anxious about whether or not to reveal what I’d done. Existentialism indicates that there is no absolute value in picking the truthfulness of coming clean over the deceit of hiding my sore throat. Either could be considered right. But the same framework says that my choice defines what is valuable for myself and for all mankind. A life where I am truthful with my family, and they are truthful with me, appeals to me more than a life valuing deceit. This truthfulness allows us to own our mistakes and use them to grow closer to each other. I told my family about my error and quarantined accordingly, and in so choosing, defined value.

Aside from complicating day-to-day ethics, existentialism also threatens life’s meaning. If there is no intrinsic good for which to strive, what is worth accomplishing? Albert Camus captures this in his essay *The Myth of Sisyphus.* The eponymous hero is condemned by the Greek gods to endlessly push a boulder uphill. Camus argues that the true tragedy is Sisyphus’ consciousness of the lack of meaning of his condition. In a world without intrinsic value, we are all like Sisyphus, doomed to push the boulders of our respective sufferings uphill while knowing there is no absolute reason for doing so. However, Camus explains that consciousness is also the critical factor that allows us to rise above this meaninglessness. He famously ends his essay, “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” The only way that Sisyphus, and humans in general, can overcome our boulders is to find joy and meaning in the struggle itself.

Viktor Frankl builds on this idea in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, which explains theories derived from his time at Auschwitz. For Frankl, our task is not to endure the meaninglessness of life, but rather to bear our incapacity to grasp its meaning in rational terms. To illustrate this point, he takes the example of an ape that suffers for medical research. While the ape is unable to comprehend the meaning of its suffering, this meaning is apparent to humans. Frankl pushes the reader to thus consider the possibility that the meaning of our own suffering may not always be accessible to us in rational human terms, even if it may exist on a higher plane.

This possibility that my own sufferings have hidden meaning offers me support through difficulty. The personal or professional stressors defining my yuppy existence clearly can’t be compared to the horrors Frankl endured in concentration camps. However, his theories do help me imagine that my difficulties may have broader meaning of which I’m not immediately aware. Perhaps in time, frustrations at work will allow me to realize the full potential of my calling or failed relationships will teach me the nature of true partnership.

The harsh reality laid out by Sartre and Camus of living without a source of intrinsic value first left me unsure if it’s possible to determine right from wrong or find meaning in life. However, their work alongside Frankl’s shows a way through, in acting to define value and seeing the potential meaning in one’s struggles on a higher plane. As with Sisyphus, so too with the yuppy must one imagine him happy.

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